Self Care, Connection and Conscious Choice
What did you think of self-care before Covid?
What did that look like for you?
The pandemic and the many hot issues that have ignited since March of 2020 have changed our perspective of self-care. The conversation and the exploration is not over.
One aspect of self-care that has come to the forefront of our collective awareness these past couple of years is how much we all need connection. Connection is not a want, it’s a need.
Understanding connection, what fuels connection and what drives disconnection with others is, therefore, an important part of our self-care skillset.
In my conversations with leaders, it has become apparent that, although connection is essential, many of us are triggered and inadvertently driving disconnection and drama. In relationships where we previously enjoyed fulfillment, many of us are experiencing fear, shame, uncertainty and blame. This is undermining our personal relational health and our organizational health. A study by Gallup estimated that between $450 and $550 billion is lost in productivity across North America due to negative behaviour (i.e. drama) in organizations!
What if there was a way to look at the hot issues; the change, the pain and the challenges we continue to face in a way that we cultivate more health, growth and connection? How can we shift the experience in our relationships so that they fuel us, rather than drain us?
One tool I have been using to manage my own self talk and self-care is found in The Empowerment Dynamic, the work of David Emerald and Donna Zajonc. Check out this link: https://www.theempowermentdynamic.com/about/
When we are triggered by fear or uncertainty, the Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT) is our brain’s default destination. The role we see ourself in may feel so familiar to us, that we often believe that they are our identity. Sadly, the roles on the DDT drive disconnection with ourselves and others.
The journey to The Empowerment Dynamic (TED*) is the way of being we can access when we have learned the power of the Choice Point. The best part about it is how living into the TED* roles fuel connection with others. This is a kind of self-care that just keeps giving!
Ask yourself today where you will put your focus. This is a radical gift of self-care that you can offer yourself.
This October, I am focusing my attention on supporting leaders in the Social Profit sector to help leadership engage with staff, clients, boards and funders from an empowered place. I hope you’ll join me!
https://www.incito.ca/strategicmindset