Perhaps you are going through an upheaval in your life?

What do we to do with this season of festivities, that emphasize thanksgiving and gratitude when we are carrying a bucket full of pain?

Secondary wounding is the term for the pain we experience when we do not find the support we need after a traumatic event. This kind of wounding may actually be psychologically more isolating and painful than the initial loss.

In our 21st century culture, we have designed lives that are surrounded by conveniences and comforts. Challenging emotions are neither comfortable or convenient.

What do we do when life hands us confusion, suffering, loss or betrayal?

What do we do with Thanksgiving if we are in the thick of deep pain?

What if growing into the new version of ourselves, a metamorphosis of sorts, requires that we find a way to hold both pain and gratitude at the same time?

 As I look ahead to the upcoming season, I am curious how the new partnership with BetterUp and the Daring Leadership Institute™ will look. This collaboration will allow me to continue this important work on a broader scale, reaching more individuals and organizations eager to embrace the principles of daring leadership.

 BetterUp’s mission to unlock greater potential through personalized coaching and transformative experiences aligns with Brené Brown’s teachings. Together, we will create spaces where individuals can grow, lead, and thrive with courage and compassion.

There is a collective experience where everything continues to feel topsy-turvy, disorienting and discombobulating. This has had a negative impact on our ability to orient ourselves in a way that we are able to feel hopeful. 

One way forward through the disorienting experience of shifts in systems, the barrage of hard news stories and social media is to get super clear on what hope is and what it is not.

“Should comments” may be as innocuous as a recommendation, shared as an opinion, or packed with obligation; they can leave us feeling criticized, defensive, diminished, powerless, frustrated, resentful. Should may also incite feelings of responsibility, commitment, performance, passion, responsibility, hope, optimism, and vision.

At its worst, should has the potential to enslave us. At its best, it is a word that may bring forth some of our most courageous moments.

I wrote this in 2016, before I was scheduled for surgery #4 on my ankle; a complete reconstruction of the joint. I believe it is relevant today as we face a new year, at a time when many of us have been suffering with great challenges.

All my life, even though I think I’ve been a pretty happy person, I’ve had an underlying focus on the things that I don’t have and the things that I can’t do….

Does this sound familiar?

We want to deliver exceptional results. Exceptional results are good, but over-functioning means that we do not trust others to do their part. Over-functioning inadvertently exacerbates anxiety for us and leads to a feeling of isolation and possible burnout. We may feel constantly overwhelmed and stressed from the weight we feel is on our shoulders.

Because we are all wired for connection, this armour gets in the way of the best kinds of team collaboration. Calm is a million miles away when we feel this kind of pressure.

Social media is full of memes of one-sided true quotes that create polarity. What is lost in the brevity of many memes, however, is that often there is more than one truth.

We tend to embrace an “either, or” way of thinking. I’ve come to realize that rarely is one situation all bad or all good.

September has a unique vibe. There are some powerful tensions to acknowledge.

What do we need in our leadership tool belts to navigate this September with the greatest opportunity for success?

How do we stay clear-minded so that we can stay effective?

Read further to engage with useful tools and questions that will help you navigate this September!

We collectively struggle when our sense of order feels, well, disorderly. Uncertainty can feel scary and can undermine our confidence, causing lack of action on our own behalf.

Many of us approach our internal conversation when there is disorder in our world with degree of distain or even loathing. I’d like to propose an alternative….

Asking for help is vulnerable, courageous and helps us grow into better, more connected versions of ourselves. Vulnerability is an essential ingredient for problem solving, innovation, connection and belonging. Isn’t that the kind of workplace you want to cultivate?

What have you done to discover play in this season of life? Does play need to look different for you in this season than it did before?

It is time to rediscover play. It doesn’t need to be expensive. It doesn’t need to be organized. It can be solitary or social.

Set aside platitudes, memes or cliches; sustainable leadership requires the determination to master oneself. Is not for the faint of heart.

It takes grit, contemplation, and personal responsibility.

When you do the work to get real about the internal conversation you’re having AND offer the most generous interpretation possible to the intentions, words and actions of others, that’s when you will be working from a sustainable place.

Growing trusting relationships does not mean that we ignore challenges, it means that we explore ways to address questions, rather than jumping to our own conclusions or blame.

So often when we experience distrust, we think that the relationship is is fractured, broken and not salvageable.

What if we could polish one side of the relationship diamond and make it beautiful again?

People in authority positions and helping professions have a new starting point with their clients and, as a result, must increase their capacity to build trust.

Growing trust, especially for leaders and helping professionals, is a workplace competency that requires your time and attention.

At this unprecedented time, to cope with the volatility, finding a skillset that is a wellspring for hope will help us cope with change that may feel hopeless. Leaders who level up their leadership effectiveness will find that they are able to manage current demands for business performance. How will you do this?

Who is in charge, the Thinker or the thought? When you make the conscious choice to breathe, your mind has control of your brain. Adding the power of breath to your day unleashes your whole brain!