What is Your Focus?
I wrote this in 2016, before I was scheduled for surgery #4 on my ankle; a complete reconstruction of the joint. I believe it is relevant today as we face a new year, at a time when many of us have been suffering with great challenges.
All my life, even though I think I’ve been a pretty happy person, I’ve had an underlying focus on the things that I don’t have and the things that I can’t do….
I’ve had a diverse teaching career and full life of church ministry. One would think that positive thinking would come naturally with both of these positions… it didn’t.
“I can’t” plagued my world.
For years I pined for a relationship to be more vibrant than it was. I didn’t have the relationship I wanted.
For years infertility plagued my mind. I didn’t have the family that I wanted.
For years I wanted a both a life at home and a life at work. I didn't have the career I wanted.
For years I was plagued with chronic health concerns. I didn’t have the life I wanted.
There were times when I felt so overwhelmed by what I wanted, that I didn't see my life through the lens of what I had. My self worth was tied up in trying to find the things that I didn’t have. Perfect. Please. Prove. Perform. Ouch.
I didn’t know that this was my lens until coaching entered my world.
Six years after a massive compound fracture, I have a lot of pain when I walk very short distances. Running, jumping, hiking, even stretching and swimming are out of the question.
But…
I have decided that I am tired of this focus. The concerns I have are real, difficult, life altering concerns. However, I’ve decided that I will focus, instead, on what I have.
I participated in a duathlon and was able to complete the 40km bike ride. I chose to focus on what I can do rather than what I can’t do.
These things were all true, but focusing on them was not useful.
It took a massive life tsunami for me to see that I can change how I see my life and to focus on the beautiful things that I have.
When I’ve been able to focus on what I have, the things that I need seem to show up in surprising places.
One important truth that I’ve come to realize is that a mindset focused on scarcity begets scarcity. A mindset focused on “I have enough” brings about abundance. When I believe that I am enough and can offer myself some compassion instead of beating myself up internally for the things I don’t have, I have more peace. More peace means that I am able to connect with the people who really matter in my life in a more meaningful way.
One caveat… a quote by Brené Brown, “The opposite of scarcity is not abundance. It's enough. I'm enough.”
I became sick of being scared all the time. I’m tired of worrying about getting it perfect. I had to put courage on and to try something different.
Can you relate?
What is holding you back?
What will you do today to find a new perspective?
Contact me today for coaching to find out how you can adjust your focus. You have the power to choose. You are enough. Do you believe it?
