Emotions that Are Not Comfortable or Convenient
Every one of us will experience, in our lifetime, differing degrees of pain, confusion,
suffering, disillusionment, loss, despair, or other disorienting and unwelcome emotions
and experiences.
When any of us are in the midst of heart-bending or shattering experiences, the pain of finding that friends, family and co-workers around us often have little capacity or awareness of what to say, do or be for us. This adds to an already heavy load.
In our 21st century culture, we have designed lives that are surrounded by conveniences and comforts. Challenging emotions are neither comfortable or convenient.
When I had a catastrophic accident that changed my life entirely, there was an unspoken experience that conveyed to me that there was a limited window where I was allowed or had the permission to grieve the losses I had experienced. It seemed that everyone wanted me to get back to “normal” as quickly as possible. There was little or no permission to be exactly where I was, but an expectation to get back to happy and fully functional, in spite of catastrophic losses… quickly.
Does this sound familiar to you?
We often unknowingly reinforce this expectation by telling others how strong they are to “get over” something in the wake of a loss. The unspoken message is, “Well done. You aren’t an emotional mess....and extra effort for me.”
What do we do with this tension? We also want to get back to “normal” and yet we have these less-than-convenient emotions. The next two posts will uncover more.
